Train Your Puppy Mind
One of the most useful strategies for quieting my brain (this is Carey) is treating it like a puppy. Sounds funny, but hear me out here.
You know those moments in the middle of the night when your mind is chewing over a thought and it goes in circles and loops forever? It’s like a puppy gnawing on a bone, endlessly going over every inch - chew-chew-chew….
When that happens (I know it doesn’t occur for everyone, but it happens for MANY people) I have found that breathing deeply in, deeply out, and lovingly and calmly saying “STAY” - as though I were talking to a puppy - is really helpful. I’m reminding myself to just focus on my breathing, without judgment or frustration. Breathe in, breathe out, stay; in, out, stay…. And then I can usually go back to sleep.
We raised golden retrievers in my family when I was a child, so those super cute puppies are what I picture - but you could picture any puppy that makes you smile. When we want dogs to change what they are doing, we talk kindly and lovingly, as that is key to effective training. But the truth is, we often talk to our own wayward and annoying minds way more crankily than we ever would to a puppy. We know that the puppy is just doing its thing, being what it is, and it’s not malicious or trying to drive us crazy with its gnawing.
Well, our brain is just doing the same thing - it is designed to reflect and think and meander. Most of the time it’s great that it does those things - it helps us to make better decisions and to come to terms with what is happening in our lives. It’s just when it happens when we are trying to sleep that it becomes annoying. But wanting it to be different is what actually creates the problem.
When I literally picture a sweet puppy face, and softly and kindly say “stay,” I can smile at the antics of my runaway mind, appreciate it for how well it is doing its thing, and also let it know that it’s time to take a break, lie down, and “stay.”
Action steps:
The next time - whether day or night - you find your mind unhelpfully going over and over some thought or experience:
First notice that it’s happening!
Smile at the antics of your puppy (brain), and maybe even appreciate it for doing such a good job at being a puppy (brain)
Breathe deeply in and out, focusing on your breath instead of the thoughts
At the end of the out breath, gently and lovingly say “stay” to yourself, to remind yourself to be kind to yourself, to stay with the breath and let the thoughts go
Repeat as needed….