Mindfulness and Presence are Not the Goal
This morning I was meeting with a client who continues to amaze me with her ongoing growth and insights. She has been journaling her thoughts most mornings and has been finding the process to be incredibly helpful to her.
Today she shared her idea that mindfulness is not actually a goal, despite the fact that we’re trying to be more mindful. Her thinking was that when we set a goal, we work to reach it and then we move on to the next thing.
I’m sharing this with you because I agree with her 100% and also believe that most of us will never reach the goal of mindfulness and presence all the time. We may be setting ourselves up for disappointment, as it’s on ongoing process more than something we “achieve.”
Every day we will move in and out of the present moment, if we’re making an effort to be conscious about it. If we’re not making that effort, we are often not in the present moment at all.
When we are in the present moment, life is relatively easy and often can be quite enjoyable.
We might not always love what is happening in the moment, but if we truly are focused on it, we don’t get distracted by all of the possible scenarios that might happen in the future and we also can’t obsess about something that actually did happen in the past.
This is not to say that it isn’t useful to plan for the future or to remember something that happened in the past. It is a balancing act however.
If you are remembering something that happened because you want to learn from it or you want to figure out how to do something different if faced with a similar situation, that process has value because you have potential to grow as a result of it.
Conversely, if you are remembering something that happened, or are retelling a story repeatedly about something or someone who wronged you or did something you didn’t like, there really isn’t much value here. It just keeps you stuck in the past complaining and unhappy.
The future can also be useful to think about if you’re trying to be planful about something that will be happening because this helps you to actually takes steps to move towards whatever will be happening.
However, if you are always thinking about the future because you believe it will inevitably be better than your present, or you are worrying about what might happen, you lose the value of your present moments and all they have to offer you.
It can be interesting to notice where your thoughts gravitate when you slow down enough to notice them.
Action Steps:
Pay attention to your tendency to think or speak about the past, future, or present moment today.
Do you find yourself spending more time in the past or future than in the present?
How do you feel about yourself and your life while you’re thinking about the past or future?
Notice how often you spend focusing on the present moment (being mindful) during the day.
This often occurs when we’re engaged in “flow” activities and the time passes rather quickly because we’re so engaged in what we’re doing.
How do you feel about yourself and your life while you’re in the present?
