Praise for Contentment

I’m falling in love with contentment (this is Carey). It used to seem boring or mundane - not something to aspire to. But over time - as I’ve aged - its value has become more clear.

Contentment means knowing that for now, everything is essentially ok. Sure, there are always things that need changing, and we can focus on problems (our own or others’), but contentment says “this moment, right now, all is good.”

There’s a lot of research suggesting that knowing about the dreadful things happening in other parts of the world - that we can do very little if anything about - does not help our health. We stress about what we’ve heard, our cortisol soars, and we put our body into flight or flight mode.

Contentment counteracts that. It allows our body to rest, to relax, to settle gently into ease.

Contentment is not the same thing as joy. Joy is lovely, but contentment is softer and simpler than that. It’s easier to find, and to stay in. It also leads us to more happiness in general.

Contentment is:

  • knowing that our body - whatever is going on with it - is doing just fine. It does not, and for me at least, never will meet the cultural ideals. And that’s ok. I’m content with that! And that allows me to pay attention when my body says “rest,” or “time to move,” or “eating that will be good for you.”

  • realizing that our lives are works in progress, and while it’s great to set goals, it’s also fine to just sit with a cup of tea or to putter around the house. When we putter, we are releasing oxytocin, which is the hormone that helps us feel connected and safe. It is an antidote to anxiety and worry.

  • understanding that we live in a culture that makes money from discontent, from creating artificial wanting for something we are told will make our lives better/our bodies prettier/our homes nicer. Contentment doesn’t cost money. It says “who I am, what I have, what I look like - that’s all just fine.”

If you want to read more about these ideas, check out “Radically Content” by Jamie Varon. She’s a millennial, but is already basking in contentment!

Action Steps:

  1. Notice when you feel contentment, and try to extend that. Sit with the dog on your lap for a few more minutes. Take a little bit longer walk. Often we have more moments of contentment than we realize, so just noticing the feeling can shift awareness and allow us to build on that moment.

  2. Make a contentment list - so when you start feeling worried or unsettled, you can go to your list and find ways to shift out of cortisol and into oxytocin. And remember that puttering - watering plants, putting laundry away, reorganizing a sock drawer - works. The actions can be small and insignificant, and yet it still really matters!

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Life-Changing Habits