I heard this question in a book I was listening to recently and really liked it because there is no religious affiliation to it. I believe that all religions ultimately honor love and hold it as a core value when we define it.

Love is kindness, acceptance, joy, compassion, respectful, patient and loyal, among other things.

It’s easy to forget about these qualities as we go about our days and become self-absorbed with our problems and desires and wanting things to go a certain way, including thinking that other people should behave in ways that are congruent with our belief systems.

It’s easy to get angry or annoyed with others when they do things we don’t like and often, we react in ways that don’t actually make us feel good, though we may try to justify (in words or actions) that our reactions are warranted.

We often complain to the wrong people, which means that we don’t talk directly to the person we have a problem with. Rather we talk to others about people who have wronged us, instead of having the hard conversations with the person we have issue with and trying to find a resolution or compromise.

It’s also really hard to remember, or sometimes even believe, that everyone is doing the best they can in any given moment.

Daily meditation is a great way to remind ourselves to think about the ways we can love more deeply. This applies both to the ways we treat ourselves as well as others.

Many of us are our own worst enemies when it comes to kindness. I know many women who are incredibly thoughtful and caring to others, but neglect themselves terribly and engage in all sorts of negative self-talk.

We also may self-sabotage through unhealthy eating, drinking or lack of exercise.

• What would love do? It’s a great question to ask yourself when you’re feeling annoyed or frustrated.

• What can you do that will ultimately make you feel better as a result of your thoughts or actions?

When I find myself in this situation, I try to think about what I would want the other person to do for me and try to let go of the fact that they have not reacted in the way I would have liked.

When I am meditating and exercising regularly, I am often able to pull this off, but when I’m over tired or not taking great care of myself, this is much harder to do.

When we’re not living in love, we’re often living in fear, which many consider to be the opposite of love and encompasses all of the negative emotions. It’s a pretty unpleasant way to live.

We’re always going to make mistakes and do things that we regret. That’s really OK as long as we can learn from the past and do something differently in the future.

The more we practice, the easier it gets and the better it feels.

Action Steps:

• Try asking yourself, “What would love do”? the next time you’re frustrated or annoyed with someone else or yourself.

  If you don’t have an answer, take a few minutes to just breath in and out and try to be present. This is a great way to recenter yourself.

• Notice how you feel when you can respond with love (or even with some deep breathing) instead of simply reacting to something unpleasant.