Women Aging Better

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The Right Thing

“It never feels wrong to do the right thing.”

One of my clients said this to me recently (thanks Jean!), and it’s such a wonderful reminder and completely true.

That being said, it doesn’t mean that doing the right things will be easy or enjoyable, but it does feel gratifying to know that you did what you believed to be right.

The topic came up when my uncle’s “celebration of life” was scheduled for the first day of our vacation and I won’t lie, for a minute or two I considered not going.

We don’t have much of a relationship with this side of our family and they live about 2 1/2 hours away so it was easy to consider, but I didn’t like the way I felt when I thought about not going.

My cousin died when I was in my early 30’s and I didn’t go to his funeral (almost 4 hours away) because I was a single parent, struggling financially and it all just felt way too overwhelming. Plus I once again used the excuse that we don’t even know them so why bother.

Well, the reason to have bothered was because there has always been some guilt and regret about not going to my cousin’s funeral.

It would have been an opportunity to provide emotional support to other members of my family and possibly to have started a relationship with some of these family members at that time.

Maybe I would have gotten to know my uncle before he died rather than simply hearing stories about a stranger after his life was over

We can’t do anything about the choices we made in the past and guilt doesn’t help us much, other than allowing us to learn from our mistakes and to make different decisions based on our experiences.

Sometimes it is worth doing the hard thing when it feels right. Only you will know what’s right or not.

It’s that feeling in your gut that makes you feel good or slightly uncomfortable when you think about one choice or another.

Eckhart Tolle (author of The Power of Now) writes that if there is a discrepancy between the words you are saying and the way you feel in your body, the words are a lie, your body will always tell the truth.

All we have to do is listen to our body and trust ourselves. Again, easier said than done sometimes, but definitely worth trying.

Action Steps:

Pay attention to your “gut feelings” when deciding what the right thing is for you this week.

Prioritize yourself when it makes sense and help others when it feels reasonable to do so.