As women, we are often used to thinking about and taking care of others, especially if we have had children. We may also be wives, daughters, friends and grandmothers. We’re socialized to be compassionate and caretakers.

This is actually a good thing, as long as these qualities also carry over to the way we treat ourselves.

Many of us forget to think about ourselves with the same kindness and caring that we give to others. We use negative self-talk and don’t even realize we’re doing it or simply make jokes about it to minimize it.

Many of us also apologize for EVERYTHING and often have done NOTHING that we need to apologize for.

When my female clients talk negatively about themselves, I ask them to stop and think about whether they would ever talk to someone they loved that way (e.g. grandchild) and inevitably, every one of the always says of course not. I then ask them to “take back” the mean words they said about themselves and consider talking to themselves in the same loving way they communicate with others.

It’s a little thing but it adds up over the course of the day and it wears us down whether we realize it or not.

Action Step:

We all feel stress, guilt, shame or other negative feelings from time to time and there will always be things we feel we “should” do but can’t quite get to.

Just for today, try to notice the ways you think about your day, yourself and your self-talk.

If you can, stop yourself when you notice any negative self-talk or emotions and treat yourself the way you’d treat your most beloved friend or family member. You really are worth it!