Last week I wrote about ways we can stop resisting all the things we want or need to get done and get out of our own way so we can get them done. Sometimes, this is essential because there truly are things that need to get done in order for your life to work well.

Other times, we create a lot of stress for ourselves and don’t allow time for self care, which results in an inability to enjoy our lives.

The holidays are often a time when people become overwhelmed with all there is to do and we lose sight of what’s really important.

Today I was engaged in a holiday-related task and found myself getting annoyed with the process.

Some of my whiny thoughts included the following:

• It’s taking too long and I still have so many to do.

• I’m not going to have time to get my other work done.

• My neck hurts from being in this position (and I’m hungry!)

I stopped what I was doing and let myself take a break. I also made a delicious homemade pizza and sat in front of the fire with my cats while it cooked.

By taking a short break and relaxing, I was able to reset and then feel good about getting back to work.

Some of us struggle to get started with tasks and others have a hard time taking the breaks. In a perfect world, we’d balance our work and our play / relaxation.

I currently work with several women who really struggle to stop working and relax, while others are consistently helping out family members at the expense of their own health and well-being.

It’s hard. We get into our routines and have values and belief systems that keep us stuck in the same patterns.

What would happen if you hit pause the next time you’re feeling a little overwhelmed or stressed?

• Take a few deep breaths and think about what you can realistically do, without exhausting yourself, feeling resentful or stressing yourself out.

• Is there anything you can let go of or delegate to someone else. Does it really matter?

• How can you take a short break and relax so you can recharge and feel refreshed?

Relaxing can be anything that feels good to you. Some people like to play games on their phone, others want to read or watch TV, take a walk, exercise with friends, take a nap, etc.

There is no wrong way to relax as long as you feel good about it. And speaking of feeling good about it, maybe we can all consider what really matters to each of us this holiday season and work on doing less of the “should” activities and more of the “want to” activities.

There’s a fine line between selfishness and self-care and as women, we often have trouble differentiating between the two. We’re socialized to be thoughtful caretakers of others.

When we allow ourselves to take care of our own needs, we ironically are in a much better place to help out others with ease. Relaxing is not selfish. It’s essential self-care!

Action Steps:

• Think about what really matters in your life over the next few days.

  Can you make time to care for yourself while also doing other activities that are important to you? Sometimes it’s helpful to have a plan, other times it’s useful to be spontaneous.

• Do what works best for you and have a wonderful holiday season.