Several people I’ve interacted with during the past week have been struggling with things that have happened in the past that they don’t seem ready of willing to let go of.

While it’s definitely challenging, there are many benefits of finding a way to move forward. If we don’t, we stay stuck in our resentment, anger, guilt or regret and this negatively impacts our present lives.

Many of us have ideas about the way other people should behave or how things should happen in life. Of course, this is slightly ridiculous because we’re all so different and there’s no way we can control how other people act or think.

Despite this, we still try to bend others to our will and when they don’t respond “appropriately”, many of us get hurt or angry.

• What would happen if we responded differently?

• How would your life be different if you didn’t hold that grudge against someone who hurt you in the past?

• Is it possible for you to accept someone you love as they are, even if you don’t like some of the things they do?

They’re easy questions to ask but far more difficult to truly incorporate into your life.

I’ve been practicing this type of questioning for many years and have found that the quality of my relationships improves exponentially when I’m able to let go of any expectations related to others’ behaviors.

That’s not to say that I let people take advantage of me or treat me badly. Quite the opposite in fact.

I practice being very boundaried with the people I interact with and try my best to communicate clearly about my needs and desires.

They’re not always met and I have to compromise often but I find it much easier to live in love and joy by practicing these questions versus my past way of living in fear, anger and resentment.

We can’t change others, but we can change ourselves.

• How do you want to live your life? and,

• What are you willing to do to get there?

Take baby steps toward small changes that will add up to a happier YOU!

Action Steps:

1. Think of one small thing that you hold onto from your past that makes you feel unhappy … It can be something someone said that hurt your feelings, something you did that you regret, anything at all.

2. Can you forgive that person (or yourself) and recognize that they (or you) were doing the best they/you could in that particular moment?

3. Take a few deep breaths as you contemplate question #2 and practice Letting Go, then notice how it makes you feel!