Over the past few weeks, one of my very busy retired clients has been coming into my studio and reminding herself that “it’s Ok” that she hasn’t been able to get everything done that she would like to in any given day or week.

Family and friends are a priority to her, so if someone calls and needs something, she will change her schedule and be there for them.

She is very active physically, spiritually and socially and at times, can be somewhat hard on herself when things don’t go as planned and she’s not able to accomplish everything she’d like.

Despite this, it’s been wonderfully refreshing to hear her come in for her workouts and repeatedly tell me that “It’s OK”. She’s doing the best she can and focussing on what matters most in any given day.

This is hard for most of us to do, especially as we age. Many people become more set in their ways and struggle when the routine is disrupted, or they can’t get things done that feel important.

For many of us, we are our own worst critic and talk to ourselves in ways we would never talk to another person. Sometimes this critical voice is strictly in our heads but for a lot of people, it’s also very much verbal.

When I hear my clients express extremely critical or negative self talk towards themselves, I have asked them if they would ever consider speaking to their own children or grandchildren in that way and they always say “of course not”.

So why do we allow ourselves to be so harmful and negative when we judge and criticize ourselves??

I firmly believe that every one of us is doing the best we can in any given moment, even when we’re at our worst. Most of us are pretty regularly trying to do better, but sometimes we fall short and you know what? It’s OK.

Just keep trying and know that:

• you’re never going to get everything done

• things are always going to come up that will require us to change our plans and adapt

• we are all worthy and deserving of being talked to in the same manner we would talk to a child we love

• when you make a mistake, it’s important to forgive yourself, learn from the experience, and move on

Life is going to keep happening around us, regardless of how we respond to it. We can be reactive or proactive with some practice.

Action Steps:

• Notice the self-critical voice in your head as you go about your day (if you have one - if you don’t, that’s awesome!)

• When you catch yourself talking in a way that you’d never talk to anyone else,

  • pause and consider first letting yourself know that it’s ok, and then

  • take it one step further by rephrasing your words by thinking how you might talk to someone you love

With repetition, we become the person we love more and more each day and everything really is OK.